


it's not fair, it's not fair

by sos_blimek25



Category: Love Live! School Idol Festival (Video Game), Love Live! School Idol Project
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Angst, Drama, F/F, Pining, Post-Canon, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-13
Updated: 2021-01-01
Packaged: 2021-03-10 16:54:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28050477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sos_blimek25/pseuds/sos_blimek25
Summary: Five years after the third-years graduate, μ's decide to hold a reunion concert. Nico struggles as her old feelings for Maki resurface — she wonders if they will ruin everything, or if Maki feels the same.
Relationships: Nishikino Maki/Yazawa Nico
Comments: 12
Kudos: 34





	1. The Rehearsal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Got back into Love Live recently, and I think I love this ship now more than I did back in the day. It feels nice to be writing these girls again. Enjoy some classic NicoMaki goodness!

Five years.

Five years since the third-years graduated, μ's disbanded, and the nine girls went their separate ways. The legendary school idol group was no more, and the members went on with their lives.

Yazawa Nico had become the super idol she always dreamed of. As it turns out, the professional idol industry was more taxing than expected, and had quite the appetite for her free time —but, there was nothing else she’d rather do. She poured her heart and soul into her job, finding her purpose in spreading smiles around the world.

Admittedly, most of the girls had long fallen out of touch, close friends turning again into strangers. Nico couldn’t recall the last time she had spoken to the members, the group chat growing cold after Honoka’s desperate attempts to reach out eventually fizzled out. The third-years stopped visited the school, work consumed their schedules, and texts went unanswered.

But that was life, after all, and Nico didn’t let it bother her. It was unrealistic trying to stitch the lost group back together — after all, μ's was over. As much as her heart ached to see them again (a particular face flashed through her mind, with the tightening of her chest), it was an idea too ambitious to actually work out.

That’s what Nico thought, but life had other plans. It was handed to her on a silver platter — the offer of a lifetime.

A μ's reunion concert.

When her manager told her the news over the phone, Nico was sceptical. Every year, rumours of such an event circulated, and as the most prominent μ's member in the industry, it was always Nico shooting them down. Interview after interview, questions pertaining to μ's were met with disdain, not because she resented her high school friends but because she didn’t want to be confined. She was more than a member of μ’s — _she_ was Yazawa Nico.

But this time, the offer was real. The longer she listened to his monotonous voice, the deeper the reality sunk in. Her initial doubt subsided, replaced by a thickening knot of dread. The crazy bastards were _actually_ organising a μ's reunion concert.

Surprisingly, he explained, the offer had reached Nico last. Seven of the other members had already agreed, with one awaiting a response.

“Wait, the girls wanna do it? You serious?” Nico asked with revitalised interest.

“It appears so,” replied he. “Please give it some thought.”

Knowing the sentimentality of the other girls (unless they had grown out of their old habits), the concert wouldn’t commence unless all nine were present. So, with a reluctant groan, Nico agreed to participate. A couple of days later the final approval was received, and thus, the project was green-lit.

Preparations were to commence.

It didn’t seem real at first. Nico practised their old choreography with unexpected ease, her muscles remembering the routines better than anticipated. The reality of the situation only hit her once she was in a taxi, headed towards their first group rehearsal, riddled with anxiety.

Nico had filled stadiums, sang for millions, recorded endless interviews and shows — and yet, nothing compared to the pinching in her throat and the suffocating twist in her stomach that day. Nausea so strong it stung had her in its grasp. She could barely sit still.

The taxi shuddered to a stop, rattling Nico’s stomach and threatening to spill her lunch all over the backseat — luckily, she swallowed it down, and clambered out of the vehicle. She was shaky on her knees and the dance studio, though of modest size, seemed to tower over her.

Hoping her puffed out chest would make up for her lack of confidence, Nico entered the building. She had been here once before but could not recall when. Thankful for the distant familiarity, her legs carried her down the never-ending hallways until she saw the double-door entrance of a certain dance room. Her footsteps pattered out as she came to a stop and everything went silent, even her breath subconsciously shushing.

Five years. What did everyone look like now?

With a quick prayer and a strained smile, Nico pushed through the doors.

A bright and blinding spotlight greeted Nico as she entered — pairs of white eyes glanced up, all painted with a similar shock. She couldn’t look at any of them directly. Whatever she planned to say didn’t come out and instead, her idol instincts kicked in, and she gave a polite bow, muttering some professional greeting.

“Nico-chan!” Her daze was shattered by a voice calling out, and then moments later, a pair of arms squeezing tight around her. Nico was already short of air and felt her organs would come out at any moment — she squirmed to no avail, and lifted her head to see the ex-leader of μ’s.

Kousaka Honoka. Though she wasn’t as popular as Nico, she too had become an idol after graduation. Her youthful spirit had persisted through the years, for her smile was still bright and blinding. “It’s so good to see you! I mean, I see you in posters and stuff all the time, but in real life!” she said.

“Thanks,” Nico laughed. “Same to you.”

Scanning the room from left to right, Nico counted one, two, three… only eight girls, including herself. One was missing. It was immediately obvious _who_ it was, but Nico chose not to dwell on it and instead drifted between everyone, giving each a polite hello.

It was a strange comfort, being in the presence of her old friends, despite everyone’s changed looks. Some kept a similar appearance like Umi, Hanayo, and Eli. Kotori’s hair was in a ponytail, her outfit a little more sophisticated (and Nico guessed, more expensive). Rin and Honoka had grown their hair out, the latter’s reaching her mid-back, while Nozomi cut her hair to the shoulders.

“Nicocchi,” Nozomi called as they met eyes. “Long time no see. Still sporting those pigtails, hm?”

“Of course!” Nico huffed. “They’re my charm-point, after all.” Nozomi and Eli were still together it seemed (good for them), and Nico gave them both a quick squeeze.

“I’m sure Maki-chan will be here shortly,” Nozomi said. “Do you two talk much these days?”

There was a hot flash of panic. _Maki._ The name echoed in her mind, stirring something within her. She masked it with a weak smile, and it seemed, for the moment, to do the trick. “Not really.”

“A shame,” replied Nozomi.

Before either could work up a new conversation topic, a deep voice boomed from across the room. “I know we’re short a member,” Umi said, “but shall we begin rehearsing?”

There was a collective nod of agreement, and everyone slipped back into old habits like a well-fitted glove. The varying levels of experience and years of separation hadn’t totally severed their group coordination; it was impressive how flexible and focused everyone was. Nico wished all her collaborations went as smoothly as this.

After an hour of singing, dancing, and discussion, they took a short break. Several others were huffing and puffing and lying flat on the floor with exhaustion, while Nico was faring quite well. Staying in the idol business kept her in top-shape, her stamina was better than ever and realising this filled her with pride.

Nico wiped her forehead with the back of her hand and brought a water bottle to her lips, savouring the cool swish over her tongue. There was a blur of movement in the corner of her eye and as she turned to investigate, the doors flapped shut, and a figure stepped through. The voice reached her before she saw the face.

“Class ran late, sorry.” It had the gall to be deeper, sweeter, a little more sibilant and melodious than she recalled. It was obvious who the voice belonged to; it was etched deep within her memory and she’d sooner forget herself than its owner. “I’m here.”

It was, of course, Nishikino Maki. Just seeing her shot Nico back to her high school days. She saw herself standing in those long corridors of classrooms, on those fluttering spring days, with nothing on her mind but exams and practise.

Nico and Maki often butted heads back then, unable to agree on even trivial matters, but there was a freedom to be found in their bickering. Nico didn’t hate her, if anything, it was the opposite — there was something striking about Maki, and this uncomfortable fascination drew them closer, like a pair of magnets. She longed to know more, be with her more, see her more.

Nico had always loved her sharp, violet eyes, steady as the ocean. When Maki played the piano, they lit up like gemstones; her wealth of passion coursed through her veins to the very tips of her fingers and flooded into her music. Her compositions were not for the ears but for the heart, and time and time again, Nico found herself in awe of how one girl could hold so much talent.

Nico had admired Maki, perhaps even loved her, but never acted on her feelings. Despite the signs of reciprocation and the silent agreement that _something_ was there, one wrong step would taint their friendship and, consequently, the future of μ’s. It was too big of a risk — and so, she left her feelings to quietly wither.

At least, she thought they did. Maki instead became a stain on her glass heart, something she could never quite wipe away. And now that they were standing face to face, Nico felt her heartbeat rising in her throat, echoing in her ears, swallowing her whole.

Time had been awfully kind to Maki. If she was pretty in high school, she was beautiful now; she had grown into her sharp facial features and developed a shapely figure that Nico was equally jealous and in awe of. Her posture was that of a soldier, controlled and refined, though her strides were graceful and feminine. Somewhere over the years she had won her battle with timidness, and now she wore her confidence like a badge — and Nico couldn’t help but stare, for it looked so good on her.

Her hair had grown a little. It was tied over her shoulder in a puffy, wavy ponytail. With those gorgeous, slender fingers and trimmed nails, Nico wondered if she still played the piano, and if so, how her compositions sounded now, polished with time and practise. Perhaps they had become just as breath-taking as the sight of Maki herself.

Cold sweats, clammy hands, everything began to resurface and that frightened her. Nico crammed her feelings down her throat before they leaked onto her face, pried her eyes away after realising she’d been staring a moment too long. She tried to focus on everything _but_ Maki — emptied her water bottle, stretched a little, checked her phone.

There was no ignoring her when Maki finally approached. As Nico glanced up, they wore matching, polite smiles.

“Nico, hey,” said Maki. As the two shared a brief hug, Nico caught an unexpected whiff of delicate perfume. “You’re the same as ever, I see.”

There was a stranger in that familiar voice. Nico barely knew the person Maki had become and found her expression unreadable. Her tone wasn’t bitter, and yet, something rubbed Nico the wrong way. Since Maki had changed so much, was Nico’s stagnancy something to be ashamed of? Was this a remnant of their playful past or was it a compliment?

Her heart twisted and churned out too many thoughts, and in the end, Nico couldn’t bottle her frustration. Nico spat the words a little too harshly. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing,” Maki shook her head, her smile remaining undisturbed. “It’s good to see you.” And she turned and vanished as suddenly as she had appeared.

She was gone — across the room, and yet even when miles separated them, she had never felt so out of reach. Nico sighed. She let her walk away without a single shred of honesty; no compliments on how good Maki looked now, or how good it was to see her as well. She barely said anything at all.

Maybe she truly hadn’t changed.

Nico slapped her cheeks, pushing the bitterness away. There was a rehearsal, a concert to focus on — nothing else mattered.

The rehearsal carried on without incident. It was difficult, Nico admitted, to focus after Maki arrived. Her eyes naturally seemed to trail her in the mirror instead of focusing on herself, and her chest fluttered whenever Maki sang.

She was always a great singer but Maki’s voice had developed considerably. Powerful, agile and present, whilst maintaining her signature nasality. She had a charming, brilliant tone, and for a flicker of a moment, Nico was frustrated by its perfection. As her envy cooled, it morphed into adoration, and then determination.

Nico wouldn’t be bested.

Vocals weren’t her strength but dancing definitely was — the more Nico focused on choreography, the more comfortable she felt. Compared to Maki whose movements always leaned to the reserved side, Nico burst with commitment; as a leaf drifted through the wind, dancing, to her, was effortless. It was second-nature.

She was finally getting back into the groove when _that_ song approached — “Zurui Yo Magnetic Today.” Everyone dispersed to the outer walls, leaving Nico and Maki in the centre of the room. They glanced at each other. Thankfully, there was no tension between them, and Nico was too concentrated on the practice to dwell on their previous exchange.

“Been a while sing we’ve sung this one, huh?” Nico tried to drown her nerves with small-talk.

“Yeah,” Maki said. “Forgive me if I’m out of practice.”

It was difficult singing about the very feelings Nico was trying to drown out — she cursed their past selves for writing about their romance so well. To draw upon her infatuation for the sake of the performance whilst hiding her genuine feelings was a tricky balance. She didn’t want anyone, especially the perceptive Nozomi (or, god forbid, Maki herself), asking questions.

The mid-song bickering, staring into each other’s eyes, singing in unison — Nico’s chest tightened during all of it, but eventually, the final chords of the song rang out. There was a pattering applause, the two high-fived, and Nico couldn’t help but feel she had gotten away with something she shouldn’t have.

Maki collapsed to the floor, flooded with relief. Nico should’ve been well-acquainted with the sight by now, but it still gave her butterflies, seeing Maki so hot and exhausted. The way her red hair stuck to her forehead, her eyes became glossy, her breath puffed out, thick and heavy. A warmth brewed deep in Nico’s stomach, and then, the corners of her lips perked into a grin.

Nico strode over. “Not very active these days?”

“Shut up,” Maki said. “I haven’t danced like this in a long time.”

Nico offered Maki a hand to stand, and it was taken without a moment’s hesitation.

It was a foolish mistake, Nico realised, for as soon as their hands came together, she wished for them to never part. Her silent wish appeared to be heard as Maki lingered in her grasp. Their eyes caught each other for a moment too long, both outright refusing to pull away. It was an ephemeral moment and Nico wondered if it had happened at all or if she had imagined it, but in that brief instant, they exchanged thousands of unsaid words.

Maki’s gaze was incredible — intimidating and inviting all at once, Nico feared if she glanced away even for a second, she would regret it. There was a flicker of wonder, of longing; something was stirring within Maki’s heart. Deeper in her eyes, there was a raging fire that thrashed about, begging to be let loose; an emotion so raw even the composed Maki struggled to keep under control. It was an unexpected visitor, and it’s appearance only piqued Nico’s interest.

In comparison, Nico’s feelings didn’t seem so taboo. Hope rose in her chest and, like a stray dog, her imagination was finally let loose. Was Maki feeling the same? Were they both digging up emotions thought to have been buried long ago? Could they make up for all their lost time?

It seemed too good to be true. Nico pulled away with tingling fingertips and a dry mouth. Whatever that fire was, whatever Maki was feeling, Nico wondered what she could do to lure it out. She wanted to confront it, to embrace it, ugliness and all.

Her lips twisted into a smile. An undeniable connection had been drawn between them.

And suddenly, Nico felt a lot more excited about the concert.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was intended to be a one-shot but I split it in two, so expect an update soon.
> 
> Follow me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/sos_blimek25) for updates and chats, I'm always looking to make new friends!
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	2. The Concert

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year!
> 
> I added an extra chapter, so there's one more to come. I had too many ideas (lol). If you haven't already, I would recommend reading the lyrics for "Zurui Yo Magnetic Today" before heading into this!

A night filled equally with dread and anticipation had rounded the corner — the μ's reunion concert was finally here. Underneath the stage, the air of the waiting room was buzzing, everyone’s nerves collecting in the atmosphere and weighing the ceiling down.

Nico, however, was doing surprisingly well. She was an idol, after all, she dealt with pre-show nerves all the time. Although they never truly went away, they didn’t shake her like they used to. She put aside her snacks, dusted off her hands and practised a few ‘Nico-Nico-Nii’s’ into the mirror before being told off for being too loud.

“Rude,” she mumbled.

Her eyes lingered on her reflection. Her make-up was flawless, her outfit a perfect shade of pink and a wide smile on her face — she felt good. The only seed of doubt in her mind stemmed from the presence of a certain red-head, standing not so far away.

Maki… they had barely talked at all. Maki had a particularly tight schedule and spared the least time for catch-ups; med school was unrelenting, she was told, and it was a miracle Maki was participating in the concert at all. As much as Nico yearned for her company, perhaps it was a good thing — less time with Maki meant less time with the feelings she was still struggling to contain.

But if not now, Nico wondered, when would they get a chance to talk? After the concert would they separate, would they become strangers again? It wasn’t like Nico could just visit Maki whenever she wanted. Being an idol brought her across the globe, oftentimes at short notice.

The thought of them never meeting again… Nico couldn’t take it.

When she noticed the panic beginning to settle in, Nico slapped her cheeks. The concert, focus on the concert. Soon after, a staff member came to collect everyone, and the girls ascended to the stage. They stood in the dimly lit wings, waiting for the crowd to die down, waiting for the signal to start.

Maki was beside Nico. Her hand was itching to twirl the ends of her hair, a nervous habit she had yet to break. Her lip was quivering a little, and she kept glancing from corner to corner. When her eyes inevitably caught Nico’s, she froze as if caught red-handed.

“How are you feeling?” Nico asked.

Maki frowned, the way she did when she was fighting with herself. “Nervous,” she said. “I can’t recall the last time I performed, let alone for a crowd this size.”

“Don’t let them intimidate you, the fans are here to support us! They love us,” Nico gave a wink. “Besides, we practised really hard for this. What could go wrong?”

“I don’t know, everything?”

“Quit being so pessimistic!” Nico put her hands on her hips. “And you wonder why you’re so anxious, gosh.”

“I can’t help it, I’m not a performer like you.” Maki crossed her arms.

“That’s not an excuse! Even the number one super idol Yazawa Nico gets nervous before she goes on stage.”

Maki blinked. “Really?”

“Of course, it’s totally normal,” Nico said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “But I don’t dwell on it or whine about it like you do.”

“You literally asked how I was feeling.”

“Details, details,” Nico waved her hand. “Now, I shouldn’t share my super idol secrets with a commoner, but I’ll make an exception because you need my help.”

Maki rolled her eyes. “Gee, thanks…”

“Just take a few deep breaths. From the diaphragm, of course— do you know what that is?”

“Didn’t _I_ teach you what that was?”

“Make sure your stomach’s moving in and out, and not your chest. Tell yourself you can do it over and over, trust your muscle memory, and if you’re still feeling nervous, a ‘Nico-Nico-Nii!’ never hurts!” She took a moment to smile, genuinely smile at the other girl, and nudged her in the side. Her voice softened. “You’re a talented girl, Maki, you’ll be fine.”

Maki stared at her wide-eyed. “That’s… surprisingly helpful. Thank you.”

Nico puffed out her chest. “I’m always helpful! Hey, don’t look at me like that.”

Maki’s glare crumbled and gave way to a soft giggle, its fluttering tone like music to Nico’s ears. She wished they could’ve talked a little longer, but they were being ushered onto the stage. Showtime.

Everyone stepped out to take their places. Though they were standing quite a ways away from each other, Nico found Maki’s silhouette in the dark and couldn’t help glancing over.

There was a bright flash, the rumble of music, and the concert kicked off.

There was something powerful about the nine of them being on stage together, and it was only amplified by nostalgia. The crowd was incredible — Nico had never heard a roar so loud. She was jealous that her own concerts paled in comparison but equally grateful to be experiencing it alongside her old friends.

It was fun. It was thrilling. It was just like the old days, only better.

Everything ran surprisingly smoothly. There were minor hiccups here and there, like Hanayo forgetting a step or Honoka misplacing her accessories between songs. But the show went on, and Nico felt great.

Until _that_ song approached.

Nico and Maki were back in the waiting room. They sat in front of a mounted TV on the wall, anxiously watching the on-going performance. Time passed too quickly, slipping out of their hands before they had the chance to catch their breath. Before they knew it, it was time to go back on stage.

It was time to perform “Zurui Yo Magnetic Today.”

Ignoring the bubbling pit of nerves in her stomach, Nico turned to Maki. “Ready to blow them away?”

Maki smirked. “Don’t let me down.”

Their fists bumped together and then they separated, entering from opposite sides of the stage. The last chord of “Anemone Heart” rung out and Kotori and Umi rushed off. The stage lights dimmed. Nico and Maki took their places, and as the crowd hushed in participation, everything was still.

There were few things more beautiful than looking out at a crowd this size. Amongst the sea of darkness were twinkling lights of all colours, stretching as far as the eye could see. Nico would never get tired of this sight.

She knew Maki was nearby. She wondered if her heart was racing too.

Nico was seconds away from laying her heart bare before thousands of people — and, unknowingly, Maki herself. Seconds away from singing about the feelings that had been plaguing her heart for years.

The metronome countdown.

How exhilarating it was—

The guitar riff played.

—to be an idol.

The performance began.

They began to dance, to sing, to mimic the push and pull of their relationship these past five years. Despite being in front of an audience, there was something strangely intimate about being alone on stage with Maki. Nico’s chest burned with excitement, oozing into her veins and filling her with euphoria. It was thrilling, singing so dangerously close to her heart. She had never felt anything like it, she _adored_ it, and held onto every second.

For a few minutes, Nico could give in to the illusion that Maki felt the same — that they were still, somehow, drawn to one another. It was cruel to play tricks on her heart, but it was for the sake of the performance, she told herself. It was fine.

Across the stage, Maki’s eyes locked onto her own, absolutely dazzling underneath the stage lights. The intensity of her gaze made Nico’s insides squirm — it was hard to believe it was just for show.

“Why are you always looking at me?”

“You’re always looking at me too, aren’t you?”

“I’m only looking at you because you looked at me first!”

“See! So you were looking!”

Everything was going as rehearsed. The dynamics dropped as they entered the bridge of the song — the two came together in the centre of the stage, finally face to face.

Nico’s voice was sweet, laced with her silent confession. “It’s not fair, it’s not fair…” She lifted her hands towards Maki. Maki mirrored her movements and their fingertips brushed.

If only Nico could stand a little closer, grasp onto those beautiful hands and hold them tightly but no, she decided to stick to routine — that’s when Maki’s fingertips slipped in between her own. Maki was the one who reached out and grabbed her.

That wasn’t supposed to happen.

Nico’s heart leapt at the unexpected contact — thank god for her professionalism, otherwise, the shock would’ve shown on her face. She squeezed her hands like it was part of the plan, forced herself to kept singing. Somehow, she drew enough breath to finish her lines.

Even during rehearsals, Maki had never looked this… starstruck. Her gaze was unwavering, full of longing and affection, and Nico found herself inextricably drawn to it. Was Maki always this good of an actor? Was it because they had an audience? Nico's cheeks flared up. She let the questions come and go, knowing she wouldn’t find any answers in the middle of their performance.

Maki’s grip loosened and she pulled away, but her touch wasn’t gone for long. Instead, she dared to take that step closer, her hands slipping around Nico’s waist. And, keeping eye-contact, she sang back, her voice perfectly legato and perfectly sweet.

“It’s not fair, it’s not fair…”

That wasn’t supposed to happen, that wasn’t supposed to happen.

Nico nearly lost herself in the excitement of it all. Her body moved on its own — she needed to respond, she had to. She wrapped her arms around Maki’s neck. Their foreheads were touching now, their lips so close she could feel Maki’s tickling breath as she sang.

How she longed to close the distance, to kiss Maki then and there, in front of thousands of people. Nico didn’t care if her idol career crashed and burned, if her name was dragged through the mud, she was willing to sacrifice anything. Her eyes flickered again and again to Maki’s lips, those curved, scarlet lips, imagining what they felt like, what they tasted like, if they would be shyly pressing back. Nico didn’t even try to hide it.

They held each other, stared at each other like they were the only ones in the room.

And just as quickly as the moment came, it was taken away, and Maki’s grasp came undone. Nico pulled away too, the stage lights flashed, and the song continued. With a renewed adrenaline pumping through her, Nico sang until she couldn’t breathe, and the song came to a close.

The final chords rang out. Nico and Maki stood back to back, arms folded, trying to hush their panting. Both could feel the roar of the audience in their bones. The lights shut off. Darkness.

It was over.

Nico realised she was shaking. She was hot and cold at the same time. She couldn’t move, but there was no time to linger — Maki grabbed her hand and lead her off-stage, and she did not protest.

After that, her body went into auto-pilot. Nico wrapped her in-ears around her neck, chugged a bottle of water, and walked off while her mind scrambled to make sense of what just happened. She headed towards a descending staircase, leading to the long hallway beneath the stage.

A footstep clicked behind her. Nico turned around, her head spinning, and found Maki much closer than expected. Before she could say anything, Maki grabbed her by the collar, slammed her against the wall, and their lips came together.

Goosebumps. Ringing. A hot flush of shock. Nico’s rapid heartbeat skidded to a halt as if time itself slowed down. Maki was… kissing her? She had wondered what it would feel like only moments before. The tension in her body evaporated and her heart breathed a sigh of relief — Maki was kissing her.

Oh, Nico had waited so long for this moment.

Desperate and breathless, she leaned into the kiss, pulling Maki closer till their bodies pressed together. Nico was burning from head to toe and Maki wasn’t much cooler — their skin was draped in sweat, yet neither seemed to mind. It was a messy, lust-driven high, but Nico had never felt so alive.

The tight grip of Maki’s hand on her collar, the firmness of her lips, her harsh panting for air — Nico always imagined Maki would love her carefully, but her roughness was an unexpected turn on. Maki’s hands eventually fell and slipped under Nico’s shirt, enjoying the purchase of skin; Nico’s fingers entangled themselves in Maki’s hair, tugging at the scarlet strands.

Maki’s tongue brushed the surface of Nico’s lips, and she let out a pathetic whimper. A shockwave of embarrassment ran through her body — like being suddenly thrust out of the spotlight, she became shockingly aware of reality.

The concert. The crowd was cheering, music blaring through faraway speakers. They had a job to do. Nico’s duty as an idol called out to her, and her body went cold. As the initial high died down, her senses came back to her.

The concert, the concert! They didn’t have time to spare, especially for something like this.

“Maki—“ Nico was silenced by another kiss. “Maki!” she hissed, a little more sternly. “We can’t do this now.”

“Just a little longer,” Maki breathed and leaned in again. Nico turned her head.

“No, we have to go.”

“But—“

“Wait till we’re done.”

Maki clicked her tongue and pulled away. Nico could see her expression now, piercing through the dim light. The raging fire she had once seen in Maki’s eyes had taken over her whole expression; her cheeks were stained red, her eyes narrow and impatient and wanting, and the deeper Nico stared, the more her stomach churned. It was a powerful, enticing look, but she vowed not to give in.

“I’m sick of waiting,” Maki said. “We spent years waiting, Nico.”

“And you can’t last a few more minutes?”

“No, I can’t.” Her bluntness caught Nico off-guard, and Maki managed to sneak another peck to her lips. Nico grabbed her shoulders and pushed her away.

“M-Maki, seriously, get a hold of yourself.”

“We can tell the others we were having mic troubles, a little delay isn’t gonna kill us.” She spoke so carelessly, it rubbed Nico the wrong way. “Besides, we’re not even in the next song.”

How could she not care? Nico shook her head. “That’s not the point!” she yelled. “Everyone’s expecting us on the other side, so we need to go. I know you’re not a professional like me, but can you at least take this seriously?”

Nico’s words had more bite than intended, but it was too late. Maki stamped her foot, her frustrations beginning to boil. “I am taking this seriously!” she growled. “Don’t talk to me like I’m a child.”

“Then don’t act like one!”

“You’re the one making a big deal of things.”

“Yeah, because if I don’t, it won’t make it through your thick skull!” Nico said. Her lust, her impatience, frustration, stress, and happiness — Nico was overloaded with emotions, and it came out in ugly, uncontrollable outbursts. “Why are you doing this now, anyway? Why not kiss me when we’re, I don’t know, not in the middle of a concert?”

“I don’t know!” Maki threw her hands up. “I didn’t _think,_ I just did it. I’m not scared to act on my feelings, I’m not a teenager anymore.”

“Oh yeah?” Nico raised an eyebrow. “Finally a grown-up, are you? ‘Cause that’s funny, I thought you were still in med school, following your parents’ plan like a good little girl.”

And her sharp words hit their mark — there was a flicker of hurt in Maki’s eyes, the sudden crack in her heart brought her to a standstill. Nico was too blinded by anger to notice, and within seconds, the pain was gone, and her fury reignited.

“You asshole…” Maki hissed, narrowing her eyes. “I don’t have a choice! Not everyone’s privileged like you!”

Nico put a hand to her chest. _“You’re_ gonna lecture _me_ about privilege? The rich Nishikino Maki-san, who has never worked a day in her life?”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about, you don’t know anything I’ve gone through these past five years, you were never there for me!”

“Because you kept pushing me away! You never returned my calls, never made an effort to see me, even in high school, you never wanted anything to do with me so don’t make it seem like it was my fault!” Once Nico had started, she couldn’t be stopped. Her delicate vocal cords rubbed together like sandpaper, rough and unrelenting.

Even when Maki tried to interject, Nico yelled over her. “No, you know what? I don’t care!” she said. “You’ve always been sheltered and spoilt and heartless! Let me be the first to break it to you — you can’t always get what you want. Sometimes you have to make sacrifices, so suck it up, princess.”

Maki stopped and stared. She had given up on trying to get through to her, and just didn’t know what to say. She shook her head, equally disappointed and frustrated, and then her exhausted voice came out. “You’re horrible.”

“Get moving, _princess,”_ Nico shoved Maki. She stumbled for a second before regaining herself, gritting her teeth, and shoving back.

“Don’t push me,” Maki spat.

Nico’s back clattered into the wall, and with a burst of shock, pain, and anger, all restraints came undone. “I said get moving!” With all the strength she could muster, she pushed Maki again.

Maki lost her balance and, with a crash, crumpled onto the floor. With an upturned chin, Nico stormed away. She had somewhere to be. Maki could catch up, she didn’t need to hold her hand.

Nico reached the staircase when her pace slowed. She stopped, and realised there were no reluctant footsteps following by her, which she expected by now. There was not a sound, not even the muttering of curses, just the distant, continual throb of music.

Nico frowned. Her pride kept her from immediately dashing back to check on her. Maki deserved it, she thought, but she couldn’t ignoring the tickling sensation in the back of her head, this looming dread that something was wrong. A trail of sweat ran down her temple.

She stood contemplating for a while, and eventually, her stubbornness gave way. It wouldn’t hurt to check, right? What if Maki was hurt? It was only a shove, surely, she couldn’t be hurt. Nico retraced her steps.

Nico rounded the corner. “What’s taking so long, are you coming or—“ She stopped.

Maki’s face was contorted in pain, her breath coming out in long, shaky hisses. She had not, in fact, fallen to the floor. She had stumbled and fallen into a corner, her back wedged awkwardly against the wall, and her feet twisted beneath her. Her right foot, crushed by the weight of her body was completely sideways, making an unhealthy right angle with her leg, and though she clawed at the walls, she struggled to lift herself.

“Maki?” Nico paled. Her heart rate kicked up. “Are you okay? I-I didn’t mean to…”

Maki glanced up. Beneath her stone-cold glare was a quiet plea for help, and Nico immediately rushed to her aid. It was automatic. Maki’s arm was around Nico’s shoulder, and with a groan, she shakily came to her feet.

At the slightest hint of pressure, her right foot throbbed in protest, and pain shot up her leg. Maki winced. “I must’ve twisted something,” she muttered, reluctantly leaning onto Nico.

They didn’t say anything after that. They shared a sad, silent acknowledgement that their fight had been, like usual, a waste of time. Maki couldn’t perform like this. An immense wave of guilt doused Nico’s frustrations — she was stupid, incredibly stupid, they had an even bigger problem on their hands now that Maki was injured.

But Nico could think about that later. Right now, Maki needed her help. She guided her to the staircase, and then they carefully descended, one wobbly step at a time.

They reached a hallway lined with several doors, leading to the waiting room, dressing rooms, storage closets, and more. The medical bay was, unfortunately, on the other end of the hallway, so they tottered on.

A pair of figures came rushing towards them.

Rin was the first to arrive, slowing from a sprint. “Maki-chan!?” she gasped. “We were just about to come look for you, what happened? Is she okay?” Her eyes darted between the two.

Rin’s questions snapped at her like accusations, and Nico’s anxiety stirred. “I-I…” She felt her breath squeezing from her lungs, and to her chagrin, nothing came out.

“Just tripped on some junk backstage. I’m fine.” Maki’s response was quick, too quick for Nico’s liking.

“You don’t _look_ fine, Maki-chan!” Rin said.

Nico couldn’t wrap her head around it. Maki should be mad at her. She didn’t need to take responsibility, but she did, without a second thought.

“Y-You’re limping.” Hanayo was close to tears. “You can’t go on stage like that, Maki.”

Either Maki was incredibly foolish, or indeed, she had matured somewhere along the way. Nico stared at her, eyebrows furrowed in confusion, hoping the answer would lay somewhere on her expression. But, as usual, Maki was unreadable.

“Yeah, I know. I’m not stupid.” Maki gave a curt reply. “Can I sit down already?”

Rin opened the door to the medical bay and the two went inside. Nico gently lowered Maki down to the bed as the medic noticed their presence. They darted over and got to work. They bombarded Maki with questions, all of which were answered in as few words as possible, and reinforced the lie she told Rin and Hanayo — that this was an accident, there was no one at fault.

Maki was given an icepack for her ankle. The medic ducked out to inform the other staff and for that brief moment, Nico and Maki were alone.

A heavy silence hung over them. Nico feared it would crush her, choke her, steal her breath like it had moments ago. The longer it continued, the thicker it became, but this time Nico found her courage.

“Maki, I’m really sorry,” she said slowly. Her eyes were in her lap. “For everything — for pushing you, for the things I said, I took it way too far. I didn’t mean to hurt you, I was just overwhelmed. I’m really, really sorry.”

There was a pause. Maki didn’t move. “I’m still mad at you.”

Nico’s heart dropped. “Yeah… that’s totally fine. I don’t expect you to forgive me so easily.”

Maki sighed. “Go join the others, Nico. Put on a good show and we’ll talk after. Right now, I need some space.”

Nico feared Maki would break down in tears the moment she was left alone — she was a fragile girl under that tough facade, after all, but Nico decided not to press. She knew better. She had to accept she couldn’t always help, especially because she was the reason Maki was hurt in the first place.

With a nod, Nico stood and headed out the door. The concert, right, the concert. She had a job to do, she was the super idol Yazawa Nico. Somehow, her catchphrase didn’t cheer her up like usual, and with a heavy heart, she took the stage once more.

Nico volunteered to sing Maki’s lines — she knew them off by heart, anyway — and though the missing spot on stage loomed over her, a constant reminder of what had transpired, she did the best she could.

Before the final song, Rin dashed back to the medical bay. Maki couldn’t dance, of course, but she could still sing. Staff gave the OK to let her sit on stage for the last song, it was just a matter of if she wanted to. Surely enough, Rin returned with an injured Maki in tow, and set her down on the stage’s corner.

Nico couldn’t look at her. One glance was enough to spark a wave of nausea. Nico was a professional, she could smile through anything, but she wouldn’t dare make it harder for herself.

The concert was, otherwise, a success. Endless cheers followed them as the members walked off stage, Rin and Hanayo helped Maki off (Nico stayed far away), and suddenly, everything went dark. It was over, just like that.

As soon as they got back to the waiting room, Maki was pummelled with questions. The members hadn’t the chance to visit her between songs, and now their worries were boiling over.

Maki gave the same answers over and over again, her patience thinning and her smile exhausting. Nico watched from afar, biting her lip, scared she would let something slip. But she never did.

Once the initial panic had boiled over, it began to sink in — the concert was over, they had done it. Anxiety gave way to high-spirits and everyone was cheery, everyone except for Umi, who had one final bone to pick.

“Now that’s out of the way,” she said, still hovering over Maki. A faint blush dusted her cheeks. “Mind explaining what happened during ‘Zurui Yo?’”

Eli tried to interject. “Umi, it’s alright, I really don’t think—“

“Improvising choreography is one thing, but to do something s-so shameless…!”

“What?” Maki raised an eyebrow, seemingly unperturbed. “I got caught in the heat of the moment, that’s all. Nico didn’t mind.”

Nico sat ramrod straight at the mention of her name. Maki wasn’t looking at her, was that a bad sign? Did she still hate her? Her voice spilled out, too timid for her liking. “Yeah, it was fine.”

Nico felt it was glaringly obvious that something was wrong, but conversation carried on.

“Umi, please. The details don’t matter right now,” Eli said, putting a hand on her shoulder. “The concert was a success, let’s celebrate that instead.”

“Eli…” Umi looked like a deer in headlights around Eli; only she could get through to her, and reluctantly, she dropped the subject. “Well, alright.”

There were cheers, hugs, photos. Everyone celebrated their last moments together, reflecting on everything μ's had achieved over the years. Nico should have been on the brink of tears, but she just couldn’t find her sentimentality.

Goodbyes were replaced with ‘see you later's,’ and everyone left one by one. Rin offered to take Maki home and she refused, a subtle sign that she and Nico were on the same page. They were waiting till everyone left to share a fleeting moment alone.

Once they were the only two left, Nico felt a lump in her throat. She tried to swallow it down but to no avail. “Maki, I—“

“Do you know how inconvenient this is?” Maki said. Her smile fell from her lips and her voice dropped to an exhausted, impatient mumble. “Covering for your ass, _and_ dealing with this dumb injury? I can’t walk more than a few steps on my own, it's humiliating.”

Nico rubbed the back of her neck. “You didn’t have to cover for me.”

“You look like a kicked puppy right now. I can’t even imagine how pathetic you’d look if I hadn’t.”

And Maki was right. Nico probably looked as pale and sickly as she felt, and her signature smile was nowhere to be seen. She sighed. “I’m sorry…”

“You’re gonna have to make it up to me.” Maki folded her arms.

“Whatever you want me to do, I’ll do it.”

“Stay over tonight.”

“Huh?” Nico blinked. Maki wasn’t the jokey type, and there wasn’t a hint of mockery on her face.

“You heard me,” she said. “We can talk about everything, and…” Maki glanced away. “I’ll need a hand getting home, anyway.”

“Oh. Right.” Nico cleared her throat. “Yeah, that’s no problem.”

The next thing she knew, Nico was in the back of a taxi, heading for Maki’s apartment. She had never visited before, didn’t even know Maki _had_ an apartment, so she didn’t know what to expect. Maki, sitting beside her in the backseat, wasn’t exactly eager to strike up a conversation, so Nico could only sit and wait.

It was the longest car ride Nico had ever endured. She fiddled her thumbs — she didn’t know what was lying up ahead, but she hoped by the end of the night, things would be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For chapter progress updates, follow me on [twitter!](https://twitter.com/sos_blimek25) It's also the best place to contact me if you ever would like to!
> 
> Thank you for reading!


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